Siebold's Special Guest
by Toutebelle
Summary: Siebold is preparing a dinner for the eccentric socialite Araminta de Chauvigny at his restaurant. However, Araminta requests a rather distasteful meal. Siebold looks to Diantha and Professor Sycamore for a way to trick Araminta. Contains Diantha/Sycamore.


_**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Pokemon or most of the canon characters. They are property of Nintendo. I do, however, own a few of the characters, such as Araminta de Chauvigny._

_This fanfic is rated T for cursing. It is not for those under the age of 13._

_In this fic, "football" refers to soccer._

* * *

**THE ESTATE OF NIBIRU-MUL PRESENTS**

**SIEBOLD'S SPECIAL GUEST**

It was a warm evening in Lumiose City. The streets were crowded as usual and people were out enjoying themselves.

This story takes place at Restaurant Soiree. Siebold of the Elite Four is the head chef at this restaurant, and tonight he is expecting a special guest. A waitress is approaching him with some information.

"Excuse me," said the waitress, "but your special guest called and said she'll be over soon."

"I know," said Siebold. "Who is it again?"

"Araminta de Chauvigny," said the waitress.

Siebold gasped.

"Her?" he said. "You mean the crazed socialite who's been married thirteen times?"

"The same one, I'm afraid," said the waitress.

"Oh, hell no!" said Siebold. "She's an unrepentant carnivore - she loves to have Pokemon cooked for her to eat. I don't have anything exotic that she might want - she likes Bibarel tail, hard-boiled Exeggcute, and chilled Mankey brains."

"Please," said the waitress, "you're making me nauseous describing all that."

"Sorry," said Siebold.

"By the way," said the waitress, "Madame de Chauvigny is bringing her husband, Hans Robert Trachtenberg."

Siebold walked outside the kitchen and into the main hall. He walked over to where Diantha was sitting - she was a semi-frequent customer here. She brought along her boyfriend, Professor Sycamore. The two were thinking of getting engaged, even though Professor Sycamore loved to woo the ladies. Right now, the couple was eating vichyssoise and French bread, and drinking chardonnay.

"Bonjour, Diantha," said Siebold. "Bonjour, Augustine."

"Bonjour," said the couple.

"Did you order yet?" asked Siebold.

"Yes," said Diantha. "I ordered canard a l'orange. Calem, that nice young man who I met recently at Cafe Soleil, was eating that when I first looked at him."

"Cafe Soleil's canard a l'orange is delicious," said Siebold, "but mine is even better!"

Diantha giggled.

"I know," said Professor Sycamore. "And as for me, I would like a steak tartare."

"We already received our breadbasket and appetizers," said Diantha.

"I'm going to make your main course right away," said Siebold.

Siebold went to the kitchen to prepare the meals. He showed great skill with his work, and managed to have it all ready as soon as possible. When he was done, he brought out the meals in tins and presented them to Diantha and Professor Sycamore.

"Here's your dinner," said Siebold.

"Merci!" said Diantha, taking her canard a l'orange.

"Thank you!" said Professor Sycamore, taking his steak tartare.

"I hope you enjoy," said Siebold.

Before long, an old woman was seen entering the restaurant. She had blue hair in a heart-shaped hairstyle, blue blush, black eyeliner, and yellow lipstick. She wore a raspberry dress and a Beartic fur coat. Around her neck was a dead Linoone. Accompanying her was a brown-haired man who looked young enough to be her son.

"Hello, dahlings!" said the woman. "It is me, Araminta de Chauvigny. I have come here to eat a fine meal. Hans, my thirteenth husband, is here too."

"Hello," said Siebold.

"You can tell her age by the number of rings on her fingers," Professor Sycamore whispered to Diantha.

Siebold showed Araminta and her husband to her table.

"Dahling," she said, "you look so marvelous! How is your wife, dahling?"

"She's fine," said Siebold. "She's taking the kids to the football playoffs. My sister-in-law Ginger wants to see them."

"Oh, that Ginger!" said Araminta. "She's such a dahling, dahling. She was always one for sports. Your older brother Ludovic has lucked out to find such a marvelous woman, dahling. I am more into marvelous clothing - wearing fur is the greatest thing I can think of."

"Whatever," said Siebold, shrugging his shoulders. "What should I start you off with."

"I will take some courvoisier," said Araminta.

"I'll take a champagne," said Hans.

"And gives us a plate of hors d'oeuvres for us," said Siebold.

Ten minutes later, Siebold provided the couple with everything. Araminta devoured most of the hors d'oeuvres, leaving little for her husband. What grossed Siebold out was that she ate them by licking the food bits with her long, sticky tongue before swallowing them.

"Mmm," said Araminta. "This is scrumptious!"

"I'm glad you like it," said Siebold. "What do you want? Let me guess: a double triple bossy deluxe, on a raft, 4 by 4 animal style, extra shingles with the shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim."

"No, dahling," said Araminta. "I'll have a roast Jigglypuff with chutney."

"Um," said Siebold, "we don't serve Jigglypuff."

"I WANT A JIGGLYPUFF!" snapped Araminta.

"Sorry," said Siebold, "but I will not slaughter an innocent Jigglypuff just so you can eat it."

"Please, dear..." said Hans. "Maybe you should order something else."

"Shut up, you bastard!" said Araminta.

Hans cowered. Then he turned to Siebold. "I'll have steak au poivre."

"Okay," said Siebold.

"Remember," said Araminta. "I want a Jigglypuff. Or else I'll ramble about your role as a wigger in your brother's epic movie _Myna Blankenship,_ which you won Worst Supporting Actor for. It was marvelous!"

"Everyone knows already," said Siebold. "That doesn't scare me."

"Oh no, dahling?" asked Araminta. "Maybe I'll take your Pokemon home and grill them!"

Siebold was shocked and recoiled in fear. He went over to Diantha and Professor Sycamore.

"Diantha! Augustine!" said Siebold. "What do I do? Araminta wants a Jigglypuff for dinner!"

"Why don't you trick her?" said Diantha.

"Get something that looks like Jigglypuff skin and stuff it," said Professor Sycamore.

"What corresponds to Jigglypuff?" asked Siebold.

"I don't know," said Diantha. "You'll find something."

Siebold went to the kitchen.

"I would never harm a Jigglypuff," said Diantha. "They're adorable."

"I know, dear," said Professor Sycamore. "You're adorable too."

"Stop," giggled Diantha. "You're making me blush!"

Professor Sycamore put his hand on Diantha's hand. Diantha held Professor Sycamore's other hand.

Siebold looked for something that corresponded to Jigglypuff meat. He looked and looked and looked. Eventually, he found marshmallow. He thought that he would cook it in meat sauce to give the impression of Jigglypuff meat. Siebold proceeded to cook the meat. When he was done, he put chutney all over it. He also prepared Hans' dinner. Then he brought everything out to the weird couple.

"Here is your steak," said Siebold, passing the steak au poivre to Hans.

"Danke," said Hans.

"And here, Madame," said Siebold, "is your Jigglypuff meat."

"Marvelous, dahling," said Araminta, snatching the plate from Siebold.

"Bon appetit," said Siebold.

Siebold left the two alone and walked over to Professor Sycamore and Diantha.

"I did a good job with it," said Siebold.

"Yes," said Diantha, looking at Araminta. "She's gobbling away at her meal."

"I hope she doesn't know that you tricked her," said Professor Sycamore.

"I hope she doesn't find out," said Siebold. "I'm worried about that."

Eventually, Araminta noticed that something was wrong with her Jigglypuff. It didn't taste the way she was familiar with. She wondered what was going on, and she looked down at her meal. She saw that this was all a trick - she was eating marshmallow with meat sauce and chutney!

"I knew it. IT'S A FAAAAAKE!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.

Siebold rushed over to Araminta.

"You fooled me, you prick!" said Araminta. "You fed me this SHIT and passed it off as Jigglypuff?"

"Well, Madame," said Siebold, "I don't understand why Jigglypuff need to be eaten. They haven't done anything to you."

"But you cook Magikarp and Clauncher," said Araminta.

"That's different," said Siebold. "Jigglypuff are not meant to be eaten. What's with you and exotic Pokemon meals."

"It's funny," said Araminta. "Don't you know anything? Once you kill a Miltank, you gotta make a burger."

"But not every Pokemon is edible!" said Siebold. "Don't tell me that you eat Skuntank too."

"I have," said Araminta, "after the stink gland was removed."

Siebold facepalmed.

"GET OUT OF MY RESTAURANT!" he yelled.

"Siebold!" said Hans.

Siebold looked at Hans.

"You can stay and finish your meal," said Siebold, "but your wife has to get out of here ASAP."

"Fine!" snapped Araminta. "You, dahling, are so droll and tiresome." Araminta got up and left in a huff.

Siebold felt relieved and sighed. Then he walked over to Diantha and Professor Sycamore.

"I guess it didn't work," said Diantha.

"I guess not," said Siebold. "But it doesn't make sense trying to fool anyone. Tomorrow I'm going to let Araminta know that she is no longer welcome in my restaurant."

"Good move," said Professor Sycamore.

"Now," said Siebold, "how about I treat the three of us to a strawberry ice cream cake?"

"Sounds good!" said Diantha and Professor Sycamore.

Siebold went to prepare the cake. When it was done, he brought it over to Diantha and Professor Sycamore. The three of them dined on the cake.

**THE END**


End file.
